When you build a product or widget, your goal is to complete it so it can be sent into the marketplace. When that goal is realized, your job as a widget maker is done, right? Yes.

Unless you’re going to build more widgets, you can now take off the kitchen apron that says, “Kiss Me! I’m an Awesome Widget Builder.” You can safely say, “I’m done. No more widgets!”

Being an empty-nester parent is like being an unemployed widget maker

Unless you’re going to have more kids, and go through another 18-year-long process to send them into the world, well, you’re done making kids. True, you’ll always be a parent, you’ll always care about them, you’ll always cheer for them. But your building days are complete.

So what do you do next?

As parents, we defined much of our identity and purpose around the act of raising kids.

If people asked what you do for a living, you likely identified yourself as a parent. A stay-at-home parent, a stay-at-home mom, a stay-at-home dad. That was you.

But if that same person asked you who you are today, now what would you say?

This is a challenge for most of us. We’ve just finished raising our family, and they are off doing their thing. But now we have to decide something significant. What’s our thing?

What’s our purpose?

This can be a tricky matter. Because the truth is, most of us have a hidden belief that will undermine us in discovering that new purpose, and it sounds a little like this:

What if raising a family is the best thing I’ll ever do?

There. I said it. Making a human being and raising them to adulthood is a pretty awesome accomplishment. Giving life and nurturing life isn’t a small deal. So it seems natural we might view that success as the best thing we’ll ever do. 

And certainly from a biological perspective, we could consider our work done when we’ve successfully continued the species.

But we’re in an era where we’ve moved beyond just the biological imperative. We can now take time to say, who am I now? What’s my next purpose?

There are many avenues to explore when it comes to discovering your next life purpose. Unfortunately, nobody can find it for you. (Nor would you want them to.) Since your life purpose is unique and different from anyone else's, it's a mission that you—and only you—can complete.

In your quest for discovering your next purpose, concentrate on enjoying the journey itself. Sometimes when you stop stressing about your life's purpose, it falls into your lap!

Since you do appear to have some time on your hands, my empty-nester friend, maybe you should begin to figure out, okay, what do I want to do next? What’s my second act?

Eight ways to discover your next life purpose

1. Write about how you feel. Try journaling with a pen and paper, or grab your laptop and just start writing. Write about how you truly feel and what you want out of life. Remember that no one is going to read this other than you, so don't be afraid to express your thoughts.

Go back and reread your entries every so often. Many times this process can bring you new realizations that you didn't think of when you first wrote them down.

2. Pursue your other passions. If you're passionate about a certain subject, maybe you can make a career or hobby out of it. This way, each day of your life will feel like it matters and you will have a life purpose. Who knows, you may find a new purpose while pursuing this new activity.

3. Consider your talents. Think about the areas in which you naturally excel and see if you can turn these skills into something meaningful for you.

• Many people are drawn to a life purpose that makes them feel they're making a true difference in the lives of other people. You may find it fulfilling to be using something you're good at to help others that are in need.

• For example, if you find you're good at comforting people, perhaps you can consider a second career as a counselor.

4. Converse with inspiring people. Strike up a conversation with someone who inspires you. While you might not be interested in the same things, you can talk about how they discovered their life purpose. Their triumphs and struggles will make good lessons for you in your journey to your purpose.

5. What brings you joy? Reflect on the moments in your life when you're most happy. What are you doing at these times? You can start the quest for your next life purpose by using what already makes you happy.

• Maybe you're most happy when you're volunteering at church. Or perhaps you rediscover a love for the culinary arts (as opposed to just cooking to feed a family.)

• Remember that you're not necessarily searching for something exotic. After all, your life purpose may already be under your nose. If there’s something that brings you true joy today, why not just do more of that?

6. Embrace change. Sometimes the thing that holds you back from self-discovery is a fear of change. We’re comfortable where we are. There's comfort and safety in not taking risks. I get that. But if you just stay where you are, you may never discover your life's purpose. Learn to embrace change because life is constantly changing around you.

7. Uphold your values. Everyone has a set of values they tend to adhere to in life. You can use your values as a starting point to discovering your next life purpose. Make a list of your values with your most important ones at the top. Think about what you can do to honor those values in life every day and you may find your purpose.

8. Make it easy. I saved this one for last, but honestly, it should probably be at the top of the list, in the middle, and here at the end. In other words, it’s everything.  Make this process EASY on yourself.

• Don’t feel you have to figure out your purpose for the whole rest of your life. That kind of mindset puts way too much pressure on you.

• If it feels easy, think of a purpose for this month, the next six months, or even a year. I love the idea of thinking of your life existing in “seasons.” Maybe right now, you’re in a season of health. Or travel. Or discovering a new language.

• Bottom line: it’s okay if your next purpose isn’t forever. Be okay with something you just do “for now.”

Finding your next purpose in life may not be as hard as you think. Use these strategies on your journey and one day soon you'll realize you've found the one feature of your life that makes everything worthwhile.

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